Dark Clouds and Silver
by Yuuki Miyaka
Summary: Duo shows up on Wufei's doorstep needing a place to stay and more. Can Wufei help him?
1. Chapter One

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter One

_Wufei swallowed heavily, well-aware that the most recent session with his captors had resulted in at least one broken rib. He wasn't really ready to catalog all the collateral damage that came with the rib, wasn't ready to face everything that his captors had done to him. Rape had been just about the only torture technique they'd left out. He was beginning to suspect that his sanity was wearing out. After his sanity went, it wouldn't be long before they would break him . . ._

He woke, gasping out breaths while shaking violently. The war had been over for two years, and yet here he was, shivering at the past. So he'd been tortured. They all had at one point or another. So it had nearly broken him. He was fairly certain he wasn't the only one whose sanity had become a casualty of war. If only . . . If only he had someone near him, someone he could talk to. Quatre had Trowa, and he strongly suspected that Heero had Relena, though he'd never seen any evidence of a relationship on the news. Only he and Duo had been left partnerless, and knowing Duo, he'd gone out to find Hilde as soon as peace was announced. The chestnut-braided boy had regaled Wufei with tales of Hilde's exploits before. He was the only one left alone.

Of course, Wufei reasoned sourly, being alone did have its usefulness. No one was around to see him acting like an infant. No one was around to mock him for being hung up on events that were in the past. No one was around to see him finally break from the ages-old torture. No one.

* * * * *

The knock came just as he set his tea down on the table. Wufei glanced at the clock, stunned that anyone would be knocking on his door in the wee hours of the morning. And wee hours it was, just barely past 2 a.m. He rose gracefully, went to the door, and opened it.

"Hey," said the forlorn figure on the doorstep, clutching a duffel bag in one hand and his braid in the other. Silently, Wufei stepped back into the house, allowing Duo entrance. Duo slipped in, seeming almost guilty as he looked around. "I'm sorry to bother you, Wufei."

"Think nothing of it," Wufei said smoothly, eyes taking in Duo's rather tattered and miserable appearance casually. It was only when Duo peeked up from beneath his bangs and Wufei saw the black eye and swollen lip that the Chinese man swallowed. Something odd pinged at Wufei's consciousness, but he was too tired to figure out what. "Come in, Maxwell."

"I was wonderin' if you had room to put me up for a night? It's a little late to look for a cheap place to stay." Wufei ignored the question, turning and walking into the kitchen to get another mug and some hot chocolate as his mind attempted to process Duo's appearance. The beating had been at least a couple of days old, but if Duo's attack had occurred on L2, then it stood to reason that the trip here would have healed him a bit. The question of having room wasn't a concern. He owned the house. Granted, it wasn't overly large, but his study had originally been a second bedroom and he'd left a futon there to accommodate the non-existent guests he'd had over the years. 

"Just a night?" Wufei asked, stirring milk into the hot chocolate to both cool it and make it taste richer. He looked back at Duo.

"Yeah. I'll find another place in the morning. I'm sorry to put you out so much, Wufei. I just couldn't think of anywhere else to go." The something odd pinged again, but this time, Wufei was quick enough, and awake enough, to catch it. 

"You're calling me Wufei. You never call me Wufei." The words were out before Wufei could stop himself, but he set the mug down in front of Duo, taking the duffel bag and placing it on the floor. "What happened, Maxwell?"

Duo just shook his head, grasping the mug in both hands. As he lifted the drink to his lips, his sleeves slipped away from his wrists, granting Wufei a decent view of the scars there. Though a few were questionable, at least two sets were clearly self-inflicted. Wufei'd never been close to Duo, but they were still fellow Gundam pilots, and he'd be damned if he'd let Duo slip away when the American clearly needed someone's help.

"Very well. We'll discuss it later. I have an extra room. It's yours for as long as you need it," Wufei said, then changed his mind. "For as long as you want it," he amended briefly. "There's no need to find another place. When you're ready, we'll talk."

Gratitude flashed through Duo's eyes, and his grip on his braid relaxed slightly. The sheer relief in Duo's face sent a tingle of pleasure through Wufei, though he showed none of it to his companion. For a single moment, he was grateful that the nightmares had awakened him yet again.

* * * * *

_Whimpering. Wufei felt his ribs, wincing when he discovered the broken ones, then stopped. The whimpering was new. He hadn't heard it before, but it almost sounded like Duo. Painfully, he made his slow way to the other side of the cell, looking for the source of the miserable sound. But try as he might, he couldn't make it all the way to the wall. Pain kept lancing through him, making every step a trial. Each time he moved, his vision greyed out a little, and he finally sank to his knees, shivering at the cold of the stone floor and pleading with Duo to just give him a moment, that he was coming . . ._

Wufei sat bolt upright, sweating as he tried to figure out what was different. His hands automatically went to his ribs, holding them together against the phantom pain of the break as his mind whispered that the whimpering was still around. He blinked, hands once more lowering to his sides as the conscious thought trickled through his tired brain. He'd let Duo in, had set him up in the guest bedroom. Duo was whimpering. Those two facts seemed terribly important.

The Chinese pilot swung his legs over the side of his bed, making his ungraceful way to Duo's room. He'd never been his best without enough sleep, and waking twice in one night just made him miserable. But as his mind slowly roused itself to full wakefulness once more, his steps grew more sure. He didn't stop at Duo's door, instead slipping inside and staring down at Duo's shaking and sweating form. 

"Stop him. Please stop him," Duo said, and for a moment, Wufei thought that the American was awake. But no, Duo was clearly dreaming. It took Wufei only a moment to decide that he must wake Duo before his fellow pilot's bad dream progressed any further. 

"Duo, wake up," Wufei said, laying a hand on Duo's shoulder and hoping for the best. "It's only a dream." The pilot Wufei had often thought of as a braided maniac - particularly in the midst of battle - leapt out of his bed with a shriek. The shriek startled Wufei so much that he stumbled backward, landing on his rear on the floor. The two stared at each other for a long minute, then relaxed. 

* * * * * 

"Care to tell me what's going on?" Wufei asked quietly over breakfast. It was a little early, but he'd felt the need for nourishment. And Duo had, surprisingly enough, offered to help. Even more surprising was how much better the food had tasted after Duo was done tweaking things. It wasn't just the physical additions, either. Duo had added caring to the dishes, and it showed, if only in Wufei's fancies.

"I've just had a rough coupl'a years. You?" Duo's evasiveness bothered the Chinese pilot, but Wufei let it pass, nodding.

"Indeed, it has been rather rough." They let the discussion drop at that. It was only after breakfast that Duo announced he'd better get out of Wufei's hair. And though Wufei had only the night before been grateful that there was no one around to see him panic after his nightmares, he froze. "You . . . are welcome to stay as long as you like, Maxwell. I meant what I said last night. And . . . it would be nice to have company for a bit longer." The last sentence, while a ploy to get Duo to stick around long enough for Wufei to ferret out the source of Duo's unhappiness, nevertheless rang true. 

In response, Duo merely looked at Wufei measuringly.


	2. Chapter Two

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Two

"Checkmate," Duo said quietly, surprising Wufei. The golden-skinned pilot stared at the chessboard, then looked up at Duo. In all their time together as pilots, Wufei had never realized just how intelligent Duo really was, as this particular chess match proved. Not that the three Duo had consecutively won before didn't have something to do with his realization. Wufei merely nodded, resetting the board and rising.

"We should eat." They'd been together for three days now, barely speaking beyond the necessities. Duo had even been cajoled into the game by a Wufei who was finding himself more and more impressed at the indigo-eyed boy's self-control. Duo rose at Wufei's comment, nodding once. There were no smiles of victory and no chatter as they made their way to the kitchen. Wufei had quickly learned that if there were ingredients in the house for Duo to work with, it was best to leave the cooking to him. Instead, Wufei busied himself setting the table for a meal and wondering at Duo's evasiveness when it came to any sort of discussion.

As they sat down, Duo surprised him once more, but this time, it was a pleasant surprise. Duo began to speak! "You still do those exercises in the morning?" he asked quietly, inviting Wufei's answer without looking at him. Wufei contemplated said answer for a few moments. In truth, he hadn't exercised in perhaps two months, not since the nightmares had truly begun to take their toll on him. On the other hand, though, Duo seemed to want him to. The only question was, did he consider himself ready to go back?

"Yes. Would you care to join me?" The words were out almost before he could decide, and Wufei was stunned to find himself meaning them. Though he didn't like this new, sober Duo, Wufei knew that he was still enjoying having someone around to talk to.

"I thought you maybe would teach me how to defend myself better. Can't go around all the time in a Gundam, right?" Duo's joker face was back, briefly, but it only served to sadden Wufei. 

"No, of course not. I'll be happy to teach you, Maxwell." The rest of the meal passed in silence, each of them considering the other thoughtfully.

* * * * *

__

It hurt. Oh Ancestors, it hurt. Wufei sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming as the hands continued to prod at him. They seemed to be practically everywhere, pushing at bruises and broken bones until fire exploded in his body. "Stop," he pleaded, well-aware that he sounded pathetic. Aware he was begging, he who never begged for anything. The aristocratic upbringing he'd had wouldn't permit it. 

Still the hands continued, but the quality of the touch changed from painful to gentle. Had his keepers returned him to his cell without him knowing? Had he blacked out long enough for them to leave him alone? But he couldn't remember another prisoner. He'd been the only one on the mission, much less the only one captured.

"Relax, Wufei. It's just me." The voice was Maxwell's, but Wufei couldn't quite believe it. Duo always called him 'Fei or Wu or some other ridiculous shortening of his given name. "You're just having a bad dream."

Dream? It was a dream? Of course. He was still living in the past. With the thought came the slow ability to force himself into wakefulness . . .

"Duo?" he rasped, unaware he'd called Duo by his Christian name, unaware of anything as he tried to pull his brain out of the past. He marveled at its reluctance to join him in the present. 

"You were shouting. You woke me." The simple words sent him tumbling back to the small bedroom he'd gone to sleep in. He looked up at Duo and was stunned at the quantity of compassion in the blue-violet eyes.

"Sorry," he mumbled, slowly sitting up and glancing at the clock before sighing. Yet another restless night ahead of him. It was his own fault, he supposed. At least now Duo could go back to bed. But the braided man sat beside him, staring out the window.

"What are your dreams about, Wufei?"

"Call me 'Fei, Duo." The order slipped out before Wufei realized, and he blushed faintly as he tried to decide what to tell Duo. There was the faintest hint of a smile, but the smile meant more than Wufei would ever have believed. It made his chest swell with pride, made him want to reach over to Duo and . . . and what? He shook his head to clear it, then began to answer Duo. "Mostly, they're about loneliness. Memories of the war, I suppose, and the pain it brought everyone."

"I know loneliness," Duo supplied, to Wufei's surprise. "Spent the entire damned war trying to prevent it." When Wufei turned to face him, Duo chuckled bitterly. It should have been a bright, boisterous sound. Wufei had always remembered Duo's laughter as a shining, sunny thing. But instead, this laughter was dark with self-hatred, clouded with self-pity. "First Quatre, but he was Trowa's soulmate from the time they were both born. How the hell are you supposed to fight a soulmate?" The question was rhetorical, so Wufei didn't bother trying to answer it. Instead, he nodded. "Then Heero. Now that was a dumbass mistake," Duo went on, the bitterness turning so cold that the headboard of Wufei's bed should have grown icicles. "I should've seen it, you know. He didn't know he was leading me on. And Relena didn't have a clue we were even together. He was supposed to meet me two weeks after peace was declared for a private . . . 'celebration.' Instead, I got a letter inviting me to their damned wedding!"

So they WERE together. Wufei filed that piece of information away, then turned back to Duo. "So I put my sins behind me," Duo was continuing, "and went to seminary school. I figured it was a good tribute to . . . to the people I had killed." Wufei had caught the hesitation, but decided it wasn't his business. Duo would share that part of his past when he was ready to, just as he'd started to share this part.

"What happened?"

"Some assholes caught me at a bus stop with my textbooks. Said that anyone with long hair had to be a fag. When they saw the books, they decided I must be in seminary just so that I could prey on young boys once I'd graduated." The contempt in Duo's voice was clearly just as directed toward himself as at his persecutors. "Wu . . . 'Fei, what if they were right? God knows, I'm as gay as they come. What if I'd started . . . started . . ." His voice broke, but it was enough. Wufei cursed the people who'd hurt Duo so much and started to draw the chestnut-haired man into his arms. But suddenly, Duo twisted away.

"I . . . uh . . . I'd better check on the hot chocolate!" Duo gasped, swallowing and not meeting Wufei's eyes. He all-but-ran to the kitchen, leaving behind him a very confused and very pained Wufei, who was realizing that he was just beginning to scratch the surface of Duo's emotional problems.

* * * * *

Five a.m. rolled around early for Duo and Wufei. They'd stayed up another two hours after Wufei's nightmare first woke them, playing chess and each thinking on what they'd talked about that night. Wufei had seen self-recrimination in Duo's gaze each time their eyes met, and had slowly plotted out a course that would include a self-cleansing ritual for Duo. Clearly, the American needed it. And the cleansings had always managed to get rid of Wufei's nightmares for a couple of months at least whenever he tried them. 

He'd been taught that nothing was truly traditional in cleansing rituals. As long as it was wholesome, healthy, and helped you clear your head, anything was fair game. Over the years, Wufei had tried everything from steam baths to fasting before finally settling on a schedule that fit for him. It usually included several days of fasting and steam baths interspersed with healthy eating, workouts, and painting. He suspected, however, that Duo would need something both more spiritual and more physical. Perhaps something like working for the local homeless shelter or giving of his time to a church could be included in his own ritual?

It was worth a try, Wufei decided, as he noted the dark circles under Duo's eyes. Loneliness . . . They shared the problem in common, and perhaps a friendship might do them both good. Wufei nodded, then spoke quietly. "Before you begin the actual learning, you must undergo a cleansing. It will help to clear your mind and spirit and put your feet on the proper path. Are you willing?"

Duo thought for a long minute, then nodded slowly. "Yes, Wufei," he said formally, regarding Wufei with a solemn reverence that shook the sable-eyed man. This would, indeed, be interesting.


	3. Chapter Three

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Three

"'Fei?" Duo asked softly, looking thoroughly frustrated. "I know all this shit is supposed to make me calm and clearheaded, but . . ." He scowled, shoving the paper away and staring at the window.

Wufei glanced over at him from his own meditation, black gaze velvet with thought. "It's not?" he hazarded a guess.

"I wanna get out of the city, but I don't have the money. And anyway, I wouldn't wanna go alone." Once Duo had spilled some of his story, he'd seemed more like his old self. But Wufei had seen examples of what Duo truly was, instead of what he'd wanted them to believe he was. And Wufei knew that there was even more to Duo than what he'd already witnessed. The American was giving Wufei constant surprises, and the golden-skinned man found that he was looking forward to seeing even more.

"We can go. The whole point of this exercise is to clear your head. It won't work if all you're doing is getting frustrated." Wufei's words were casual, smooth, as he touched the brush to the canvas once more. He was rather grateful that Duo understood the inherently private nature of his painting and never looked at the canvas, grateful because Duo's expressive face always presented a challenge to capture. The eyes were both his best subjects and his worst, for they were never empty, even when Duo seemed to want them to be.

"'Fei? What exactly do you do? I've been mooching off you," Duo started, only to be interrupted by Wufei. He chuckled after hearing what Wufei was protesting and continued. "Yes, mooching. We both know it. I haven't paid you a dime, I've barely done any chores, and you haven't listened a single time I tried to go somewhere else. So how can you afford this?"

Wufei smiled, the expression almost painful as muscles long out of use stretched themselves to accommodate his needs. "I'm wealthy, Duo," he said, the name coming to his mouth easily after the time they'd spent together. "I have been for a while."

Duo's eyes went wide. "But . . . how? You were just like the rest of us." It didn't seem to occur to him that Quatre was wealthy as well, or had been before he'd been disowned. Wufei touched his brush to the picture once more, then set aside the palette, rinsing the brush in turpentine.

"I paint, Duo. It's more than just a way to cleanse myself. It's how I think things out. It's how I support myself. And I'm good at it, or at least people are willing to pay enough to stroke my ego." Duo chuckled at Wufei's description of his skill. "Mostly, I paint landscapes and starscapes. Sometimes, very rarely, I'll paint people. And even then, when I paint people it's most often from memory. I like to believe that I capture not only their likenesses but their spirits. Most of the time when I paint people, I keep it. Selling those would be a little too much like selling my own soul."

"I write, sometimes," Duo offered quietly, looking at Wufei with something akin to awe. Wufei's brow rose in surprise. "It helps to get it all out on paper. Only . . . it didn't help this last time." He looked down, then sighed. "Nothing's helping this time."

"That's why you're here, Duo. That's why I'm here. To help." Wufei's words were meant as quiet comfort, but they held the slightest hint of something more. Duo glanced back up, catching Wufei's eyes and holding them as he tried to divine just what was hidden within their ebon depths. "And to help, we'll get out of the city. Is camping a suitable substitute or would you prefer something more comfortable?"

"'Fei? What are you getting out of this? No one does anything for free." Wufei considered that for a long time, then nodded.

"Company. It's selfish, I suppose, but I've been lonely, too." Wufei stared at Duo for a long time, not entirely sure what else there was to say. Apparently Duo didn't know either, because he remained silent.

* * * * *

__

Warmth. The sensation registered before any others. Gentle warmth concentrated on certain points of his body. His ribs, his hands. It took a long moment before Wufei realized the pain was gone, and the warmth was actually healing hands doing their best to bring him back from the edge of the precipice known as coma. His eyes fluttered open, feeling more like lead weights than the light-weight skin they were. He stared up into a sea of violet-blue, unable to speak. No words were forthcoming from his companion, either.

The tableaux stayed silent and still for minutes on end. Eventually, though, it broke. Duo lifted his hands from Wufei's skin, cleared his throat. "Thought you weren't gonna come back, 'Fei," he said huskily, then smirked. "I'll go tell Heero you're fine." That name brought everything crashing down around Wufei's ears, reminding him that Duo was not his, was never his. They didn't even know he was interested, and they would never know, if he had anything to say about it. They would never know . . .

Never know. The words were on his tongue when he woke, the dark depression settling in on him as he realized he was alone. True, Duo was in the guest room, but even with the company, Wufei was always alone. Who could he trust with the knowledge of his past except another Gundam pilot. And the only one left was in no position to jump into a relationship, short-term or otherwise. A slender-fingered hand pushed from his temple to his forehead, then wiped down his face as though to erase the fact that he needed companionship. What kind of monster was he to hold Duo here, to blackmail the poor American with his own emotional instability just so that Wufei could have someone around for a few days?

He covered his eyes, blacking out the world in favor of self-recrimination. What was he going to do? What could he say . . .

"You like the green tea after nightmares, right? Unsugared." Duo's voice intruded on Wufei's thoughts, surprising the dark-haired man. He looked up and caught his breath. Duo's hair was down, tangled around his arms and shoulders, and looking like spun silk in the moonlight.

"Thank you," the Chinese man said softly, reaching out a hand to take the cup. He was careful not to brush Duo's fingers with his own. "Are you packed for the camping trip? We're leaving in the morning." It was an unnecessary reminder, but somehow the gesture felt good to him. It was . . . homey, warm.

"Yeah. Wasn't hard. I never really did much to unpack my duffel. All it really took was shoving the clean clothes back in and piling it and the sleeping bag you gave me in the car. Did that before going to bed." Duo stared into his own mug, then looked back at Wufei. "I set my alarm," he admitted quietly. When Wufei's eyes widened in surprise, Duo shrugged self-consciously. "Your nightmares always come around this time. I figured that maybe I could be waiting with hot tea. It always helps you go back to sleep, after all."

Wufei's throat suddenly constricted and he ran his hand down his face again. The gesture was obviously meant to wipe away the remnants of sleepiness but had the added bonus of surreptitiously ridding his eyes of the tears Duo had suddenly inspired. How could such a simple kindness mean so much to him? "Duo," he began hoarsely, then stopped when he realized he'd been about to share his secret. Duo cocked his head to one side, listening. Wufei grasped for something to say, then settled for, "Thank you. Your friendship means . . . everything to me."

Duo smiled gently, then nodded, rising. "We'd better get back to sleep. We have a big day ahead of us." And was it Wufei's imagination, or did he hear Duo mutter the word 'friendship' in sadness as the American left?


	4. Chapter Four

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Four

"It's incredible how much being out in the middle of nature helps, isn't it?" Duo's words intruded on Wufei's consciousness, drawing the golden man's attention away from the sky. He glanced at Duo, then smiled. It seemed that Duo's cleansing needed the element of real nature to work. Already he was seeing a marked difference between the cheerful man beside him and the solemn friend he'd put up that first night.

"Indeed. Nature itself is cleansing. Letting it into your soul aids the process," he said smoothly, laying back. The time had come to ask the question that had nibbled at the back of his mind for weeks. "Duo? What happened between you and Hilde?"

Duo's head jerked around. Wufei saw the motion from the corner of his eye. But he ignored it, seeming placid. After a moment, Duo began to answer. "It . . . it was wrong from the start. She had a crush on someone else and was using me to try and get over him. I pretended ignorance for a while, but when the signs became too obvious, I left." Wufei scowled, and it was obvious that Duo saw it, because he hastened to reassure his companion. "I don't think she even realized she was doing it."

"So who'd she have a crush on, anyway?" Wufei growled, not even aware he was doing it. He was angry at her, angry at the situation that she and Duo had created, angry at a life that had hurt Duo so badly without reason.

Duo chuckled softly, the laughter edged slightly with bitterness. "Trowa," he said softly, then lay back on the grass, staring up at the sky as well. "'Fei?"

"Yes, Duo?"

"Ever been in love?" The question surprised Wufei enough to bring his gaze back to the braided man, who almost seemed peaceful where he lay. If it hadn't been for the slightly bitter twist to his lips, Wufei would have even believed the question was as innocently curious as it sounded.

"No, Duo," he answered. It wasn't a lie. He'd never felt that giddy feeling that he'd heard always accompanied love, never felt the need to be best in someone else's eyes, never felt the tightening of his chest at their gaze. He'd never wanted to share his future with anyone . . . until now. And he wasn't entirely sure what to make of this new development.

"Don't ever fall in love. It sucks." The succinct statement summed up Duo's outlook without mincing words, and that hurt Wufei. Would that he could pull that pain out of Duo's eyes. Would that he could lessen the burden of the past from Duo's shoulders. He was beginning to realize just how willingly he'd bear the cross for both of them if it would just make Duo happy again. But Duo's troubles were his own, not Wufei's, and no amount of wishing could take them away. "How come you're so lonely, 'Fei?"

The question, coming out of the blue as it had, took Wufei completely off-guard. He considered, briefly, evading the query. It didn't take long to push that thought aside Duo had been honest and open with him, and he could hardly do less. "I can't see sharing my life with someone who doesn't understand my past. Unfortunately, that rather limits my options. And, of course, I dislike being a burden to anyone. While it is an understandable attitude, it makes relationships that much more difficult to enter into."

"Know what, 'Fei? You need to get laid." The lazy sensuality that Wufei remembered so vividly from their time together as pilots exuded from Duo's voice. Wufei considered the idea for a brief moment before dismissing it with a near-silent 'no.' "Why not?" Duo demanded, rolling over and crawling to sprawl beside Wufei comfortably. Wufei fancied that he could feel Duo's heat, and it tugged at him. Manfully, he resisted the urge to cuddle up beside Duo.

"Because sex without love is empty." The words slipped out of his mouth before he could consider how they would be taken, and he cursed inwardly as he saw Duo withdraw into himself. So much for the progress they'd made. He growled at himself, but couldn't seem to bring himself to qualify or explain the statement. And Duo's final words on the subject were no help.

"Yeah, well, same goes for life."

* * * * *

Chang Wufei had fucked up again. That's what he told himself when he finally went to sleep that night. That's what his first thought was upon awakening. He catalogued this latest error into a file that went deep into his subconscious where he would never forget it, and did this with the ease of long practice. He lay in his sleeping bag, staring up at the sky and cursing his overly-verbose mouth. 

The week after Wufei's rather unfortunate statement had been miserable, neither of them doing much to lessen the strain between them. Wufei had tried, once or twice, to explain what he meant, but Duo waved him away before three words were out of his mouth. The American didn't care, he claimed. Wufei had merely been speaking the truth.

And while he'd done just that, Wufei believed that he could have found a better way of explaining that he was afraid of sex without Duo being in love. Because he was beginning to suspect that the mild attraction he'd had to Duo was growing into real love. But Wufei quickly made the decision that whether or not love was involved, he could still help Duo find his center and learn to defend himself. So the cleansing continued.

* * * * *

"Wufei?" Duo asked quietly. He'd gone back to calling Wufei by his full name immediately following the statement that had chilled the air between them the whole prior week. "I've been thinking."

To Wufei's mind, Duo's comment could mean only one thing. "When do you move?" he asked quietly, miserably. He'd felt so . . . comfortable these past weeks, as the companionship between himself and Duo grew into something resembling true friendship. But one wrong statement could wrench that away from him faster than he had ever believed.

Duo, for his part, seemed taken aback. "Um, do you WANT me to go?" he asked slowly. The question startled Wufei, who looked up at Duo and shook his head negatively. His answer was a smile breaking across Duo's face. "Oh good. I kinda like it around you. Oh, I intend to pay you rent someday soon, but for now, well, I kinda got to get my head together, and you're really helping with that. I was actually thinking about what you said a week ago." Wufei winced, lowering his gaze again. He was surprised to see Duo drop down to sit in front of him.

"I won't deny, it hurt. Here I thought you were falling in love with me, and when I offer myself to you, you go and say that. Took me a long time to get past what I thought you meant. Then I started thinking about things again, like whether or not I really should've offered myself in the first place and I finally saw what you were getting at." Wufei's almondine eyes narrowed slightly in query, and Duo smiled. It wasn't his old, sunny smile, and it wasn't a grin. It was merely a smile, touched with enough sadness to make it real. "You saw what I didn't. You knew how I felt before I even did. Maybe you are falling a little in love with me, even though I doubt it. But what's important is that I don't love you."

The way Duo said it, so calm and casual, flayed Wufei's heart. Wufei had never pretended ignorance of Duo's feelings, but being told so coldly that he wasn't loved hurt deeply. Still, Wufei said nothing, merely waiting for Duo to continue. Because the fact of the matter was, Duo needed this confession. And Wufei wanted, above all else, to see his fellow ex-pilot healed. "So anyway, I just wanted to thank you." When Wufei asked why, Duo actually grinned. "For not using me. I think you're the first person who's never used me at all. So . . . thanks." And Duo leaned over, hugging Wufei briefly. It was a masculine hug, complete with back-pounding and mostly-hidden emotions.

Then, Duo rose. "Well, I feel cleansed. How 'bout you?" When Wufei nodded slowly, Duo laughed. "Y'know, nature's incredible, but I'd kinda like to get back to the luxuries of life. Think we can head back tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, Duo. And then, your lessons will begin." Wufei's quiet agreement decided him. He would teach Duo whatever Duo needed to know, and then they would go their separate ways. It was as simple as that.


	5. Chapter Five

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver  
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Five

__

Damn them, Wufei thought miserably, wincing with every movement. He suspected that if he actually looked at himself, he'd find his skin a patchwork quilt of black, blue, and the sallow green of fresh and fading bruises. Everything he did, even breathing, hurt. He was afraid to open his eyes for fear of his lids proving bruised. Besides, the longer he lay in darkness, the more likely he was to fall asleep. And surely it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to fall asleep and wake up later, once he'd been healed. If he ever was healed, that was. If he ever woke up at all . . .

He pushed aside the thought as unworthy, raising leaden eyelids and wincing when he realized that yes, indeed, his eyes had been blackened. He sat up, then swallowed back the bile that threatened to rush past his lips at the motion. His last meal had been just before the most recent beating, but he couldn't remember whether or not it still resided in his stomach. He groaned softly, then jumped at an answering groan. The startled motion set his head whirling and he clutched at it, doubling over so that his forehead rested between his knees in a vain attempt to calm his stomach and stop the tilt-a-whirl of the room around him.

The second groan caused him to look up slowly, mindful of his condition. But when he gazed in the direction of the pitiful sound, all he saw was blank wall . . .

Blank wall . . . His room, in his house. Wufei sighed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and tentatively standing. When the room didn't start spinning, he took a chance and went to the doorway, opening it just in time to catch another moan clearly emanating from Duo's room. Checking his clock served to tell him that he'd awakened earlier than usual this night. Hearing Duo's misery made him quickly decide that there was nothing wrong with his greeting Duo's wakefulness with a mug of calming hot chocolate. Pleased at the idea, he hurried to the kitchen. Since time was short, he ignored the stove in favor of the microwave, heating the mugs of water quickly and efficiently, then dropping in a mesh ball of loose tea leaves and three spoonfuls of Duo's homemade hot chocolate. Duo's recipe had been much richer and thicker than the stuff he could find at the store. He'd yet to get Duo to give him the recipe, but he'd have to make sure to get it before Duo left.

That thought led to a road he didn't want to contemplate, so Wufei ignored the implications of the last word in favor of mixing the drinks and heading to Duo's room. As he neared, he could hear the slow movements of someone who'd just awakened, and pushed the door open with his foot. It swung open soundlessly. Duo sat on the bed, hair streaming around his shoulders and trailing out of his bedtime braid as he rubbed at his eyes. Seeing that, and seeing the way his sweat-soaked bangs matted to his forehead, Wufei nodded once. The Chinese pilot approached, thrusting the mug under Duo's nose. Indigo-blue eyes peered up at him, huge and surprised, and Wufei smiled gently. "You were moaning. Sounded like you needed something comforting, and according to you, nothing is more comforting than chocolate."

"Not true," Duo mumbled wearily, sipping at the hot liquid. "Friendship is more comforting." He glanced up at Wufei's poleaxed expression and a ghost of a smile touched his lips. "Shall I set up the chess board or are you going back to sleep?"

Wufei opened his mouth once or twice, looking like a trout before he finally managed to form a coherent word. "Friendship? Are we friends?"

Duo's chuckle was warm and caring, and it swelled Wufei's heart. "Well, 'course, 'Fei. What else would we be?"

"I . . . don't know, Duo. Set up the chess board. I feel the need for a good game or three."

* * * * *

"'Fei, I hurt," Duo complained, wincing as he tried to stretch out on the couch. Wufei chuckled softly, hiding his own discomfort and promising himself he would NEVER stop exercising again. The pain that came from restarting was too much and too easily avoided.

"You're the one who pushed us too far, Duo, with your comments that you could handle 'just one more.'" Wufei's response elicited a weak chuckle from the happy-go-lucky man. 

"Yeah, I know, but I thought I could. Y'know, 'Fei, you're a really great teacher," he said out of the blue, leaving Wufei gaping in his direction. The comment was enough for Wufei's brush to shiver in the air as it awaited the chance to touch canvas again. Wufei had finally managed to capture the panther-grace of his companion, and was adding the final touches to this latest painting. The compliment caught him off-guard, making him blink in wonder. "You're patient, even when I'm trying show off, and you don't get angry with me for screwing up."

"That's because you actually try, Duo. No one can learn these arts easily. It takes time and practice, and you can't be perfect immediately, no matter how you try. Besides, I, too, showed off at first." Duo laughed, pulling Wufei out of his shell until Wufei had shared story after story of the L5 pilot's childhood. For all that Wufei was a sober, serene man, his stories of a misspent and playful youth had Duo rolling on the ground in laughter, tears streaming from his eyes and all thoughts of stiff muscles forgotten. Something about the image of Duo so happy constricted Wufei's chest with happiness, leaving him giddy and warm all over.

"Man, 'Fei, and I thought I was the king of the practical jokes!" Duo gasped out, laying on his back on the floor, staring up at Wufei, who did his best to look affronted.

"They were hardly practical jokes, Duo. Consider them, instead, lessons to my teachers. Haven't you ever heard that you should learn from your students?"

Duo nodded, sitting up. It was only then, as he looked past Wufei to the canvas, that Wufei remembered what he'd been painting before he'd been called away to share stories of his past. He froze, only his heart moving as it beat a tattoo of anxiety in his chest. Duo slowly moved to a standing position, walking directly to the canvas and examining it for minutes on end before slowly looking at Wufei. The eyes held a question too important for Wufei to answer. He swallowed, his own eyes shifting away from that deliberate gaze.

"That's me," Duo said softly, one hand hovering over the still-wet oil paint. Wufei nodded. "You've been painting me. How long?"

"Since you came to stay with me." Wufei mumbled the answer, risking a glance up at Duo. The stunned look on Duo's face pulled the explanation from him. "You're such a marvelous subject," he said, a little more clearly. "Your face is always so expressive, and your eyes are full of emotions and memories. Your hair is an incredible challenge to capture. It's got a life all its own, do you realize that? And the way you move . . . I could never hope to capture that . . ." Wufei trailed off, suddenly aware that he might have said too much.

Duo considered for a long time, then smiled quietly. "You think it's hard to capture me?" At Wufei's nod, he chuckled softly. "You ought to try a self-portrait sometime," he whispered, then left the room. The Chinese man stared after him, not knowing quite what to say to the compliment.


	6. Chapter Six

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches. 

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Six

He found Duo sitting in the backyard, staring at the small pond he'd erected when he'd first moved in. "It's peaceful, ne?" Wufei asked quietly, trying not to startle the black-clad man. It had been nearly six months since Duo had moved in, and it was only during the last few days that he'd begun to wear his priest's outfit again. Wufei suspected that the outfit was to tell him something, that it was a harbinger of some sad news that Duo was trying to find the words to tell him. And more than that, Wufei suspected he knew what the news was. So when Duo nodded his head in answer to Wufei's gentle question, the Chinese man sat down. "When are you leaving?"

Duo looked up at him, not particularly startled. "So you figured it out, then," he sighed. When Wufei nodded, Duo chuckled bitterly. "I'm beginning to believe, 'Fei, that you know me better than I know myself."

"You have personal ghosts to deal with," Wufei said, by way of response. Duo's nod was sad. "And to be honest, I've been expecting this day to come ever since our discussion during the campout." He wasn't lying. He'd been waiting for the time when Duo decided to leave since that first night, knowing that he couldn't hold the free spirit here forever.

"I just started thinking about it. Not sure I'm ready to take the plunge yet, so . . . I haven't decided when."

Wufei had an answer for that. In his heart, he wondered if he had an answer for everything. "You have to leave. You'll never be free if you don't deal with the ghosts. But . . . wait a week. Your going-away gift isn't quite complete." He rose after saying that, walking back into the house before Duo could respond. He needed to get some work done if it was to be ready.

* * * * *

"Are you all right, Duo?" Wufei asked quietly, when he saw the braided pilot shoved into the cell with him. He winced as Duo stumbled, moving to catch the American before he slammed his face into the stone of the floor. Duo chuckled weakly, the sound testament enough to his ill treatment prior to this stopover in the cold cell. "Come on, talk to me. I need to check you over anyway." And then his hands were feeling over Duo's body, ensuring that bones remained unbroken and there was no unexpected tenderness. It was only once his duty was over that he looked up and caught Duo's gaze.

"'Fei, if I leave, will you promise to let me go?" It was an odd thing to ask, particularly to ask of a pilot who hadn't really considered the relationship between them anything but useful until now. But those eyes were asking a very real, very serious question, and it was a question that Wufei felt obliged to answer.

"Yes, Duo. If you leave, I will let you go. But," and here his mouth stopped using his brain. Instead, it worked all on its own, catching Wufei totally by surprise. "If you leave, will you promise to return?" Where on the colonies had THAT come from?, he wondered inanely.

"Of course, 'Fei. I promise I'll always come back. Even if it's just as a ghost so I can haunt your bones," he teased. They were both so caught up in the moment that they didn't hear the cell door opening. Large, brutal hands caught hold of Duo, dragging him out the door. As Wufei stood poised to rush the guards, determined to save Duo, the braided boy reminded him cheekily, "You promised, 'Fei. Gotta let me go . . ."

"You're late," Duo observed from the comfortable armchair they'd placed in Wufei's room after his appearances in the middle of the night became a regular appointment. Sure enough, the tea beside his pillow was cold, its place on the bedside table marked by a ring where its condensation had sweated off. Wufei glanced at the clock as he sipped the room-temperature liquid, then did a double-take. He was upwards of an hour late for the 'slumber party,' as Duo had termed it. 

"Why did you wait?" Wufei demanded, turning a glare on Duo. But Duo didn't react to the angry visage.

"It's our last night together. You said yesterday that the gift would be ready today and made me promise to go out and deal with my 'ghosts' before they got the better of me. I'm . . . I'm gonna miss you, 'Fei." Duo paused, looking out the window as he considered what he was about to say. Wufei noticed at that point that Duo's mug was long finished and clearly taken back to the kitchen. Certainly it wasn't anywhere in the room. "I wanted to talk to you like this once more. It feels . . . comfortable, I suppose. That's what's so great about darkness. It lets us bare our souls without fear of what we'll see in someone else's face."

"Do you think that you would see something bad in my face, Duo?" Wufei asked gently. Duo chuckled, the sound comfortable, not bitter.

"Not really. But . . . I didn't want you to think I was goin' off the deep end, saying this tomorrow. At least now, if you REALLY need an explanation, I can give it. I'd rather not. I'd rather you just understood. But I'm willing to take the chance that you'll be a little slow in understanding."

"Thank you, Duo," Wufei said, pseudo-sarcastic. He could feel Duo's grin, even if he couldn't see it.

"Don't mention it, 'Fei. Mostly, I just wanted to ask you that if I should ever leave before you're quite ready, you'll let me go." The words echoed hollowly through Wufei's head as he tried to process what he'd just heard, tried to reconcile it with his dream. He was jolted out of the task by Duo's next statement. "And I promise that no matter what, I'll always come back. Even if it's just as a ghost so I can haunt you until you smile."

"Was I talking in my sleep?" Wufei demanded, rising from the bed and crossing the room. He grabbed Duo's upper arm, pulling the other man's face around until they were inches apart. Shadowed indigo eyes met angry sable ones.

"No. I just figured that's what would be worrying you," Duo said smoothly. "Was I wrong?"

Suddenly spooked by this whole conversation, Wufei let go of Duo's arm, falling a step back. "No. You're a friend. Of course I'd be worried about whether you'd return. You're right. It makes sense."

Duo just nodded serenely.

* * * * *

"Here." Wufei thrust the small, brightly-wrapped package to Duo, who grinned. 

"Why, 'Fei! Giving me my Christmas present early, I see," he chuckled, making Wufei's already-pink cheeks glow red.

"It was the only paper in the house. It's been a while since I had anyone to give a present to." The confession seemed to sum up how miserable his life had been before Duo had entered it. He examined the idea, found it appropriate, and stored it away for later self-pity.

Duo didn't respond verbally, instead opening the package. His breath caught when he saw the outside of the antique pocket-watch. It was silver with a simple gold cross inlaid within the circle. But it wasn't the outside that Wufei was waiting for Duo to see. He held his breath as Duo moved to open the watch. The latch gave after a second, and the American's eyes went wide, his mouth dropping open.

"I couldn't quite manage a locket size, so I did this one. The larger surface was easier to work on, and the mechanical parts weren't hard to get rid of," Wufei explained. "They were half-corroded anyway, quite unfixable." He doubted Duo even heard him since the man was busy staring at the tiny self-portrait framed by the old home of an ancient pocket-watch. "You said I should try one. I'm not entirely certain I captured whatever it is you see, but . . ." He trailed off as Duo interrupted him.

"Oh, you did. You did," Duo breathed, turning to face Wufei. There were tears streaming down his cheeks, tears he swiped impatiently at. "I'll take good care of it, 'Fei. I promise. And . . . well, I wanted you to hold onto something for me until I get back, okay? It'd make me feel better, knowing it's safe with you."

When Wufei nodded and held out his hand, Duo turned to his bag, reaching into a pocket and coming out with a closed fist. He put the object into Wufei's hand, closing his fingers around it before hugging the black-haired man and walking out the door. Moments after it latched shut, Wufei opened his palm. Inside it lay a glittering, gold cross.


	7. Chapter Seven

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Seven

The day after Duo left, Wufei enjoyed the peace and calm of his house. Duo's presence, while not loud or obnoxious, had nevertheless been disruptive to the rut he'd been in before the braided ex-pilot had shown up on his doorstep. The second day, Wufei decided to go out to the park. The house seemed just a touch confining, just a little dark. By the end of that week, Wufei realized that he was lonely again. Only this time it was worse. This time, he had his memories to point out precisely what was wrong. And he was beginning to think that amnesia would be a blessing.

In response to this latest bout of loneliness, Wufei headed to the Animal Control Centre. Perhaps a pet would help give him some companionship. It certainly couldn't be any worse than what he'd had to put up dealing with Duo or Quatre in safehouses. When he walked into the ACC initially, he'd been planning to look at the dogs, deciding that getting some sort of puppy and training it would give him a suitable guard-dog. But something pulled him to the right door instead of the left, until he was roaming through the small room that held far too many cats in cages. Some were older, gazing at him with eyes far too jaded for an animal to ever wear. He couldn't quite bring himself to reach out to them. They were too aggressive in their hatred of humans. But . . . there was one, one only, who came up and rubbed itself against the bars of the cage as though it wanted out. It looked too small to be here and he asked the caretaker if he might hold it.

The caretaker agreed readily, opening the cage and allowing Wufei to wait patiently, hands spread just under the cage door, as the kitten deigned to step down into his hands. She was tiny, delicate, her grey fur almost silver. Just as he was told that she still had her claws, she used them to climb up his shirt, finally coming to rest on his shoulder. He blinked, then smiled. Ten minutes later, the money had changed hands, the papers had been signed, and he'd adopted one tiny, grey kitten. And she rode all the way home on his shoulders.

On the way, he stopped, picking her up a scratching post that doubled as a secret hideout, a food dish and water dish, and a collar and leash. Impulse led him to getting some catgrass and a couple of fake mice for her to chase as well. And still he didn't have a name for her. He didn't settle on a name until much later that evening, when he sat in front of the window, curled up in a chair with the small kitten in his lap, one hand stroking slowly over her fur. "I'll call you Vow," he told her quietly, and she looked up at him, mewling once and bumping his hand with her head. Clearly, Vow was annoyed he'd stopped his petting.

* * * * *

He shifted in his sleep, coming slowly to wakefulness and immediately aware that if he moved his head, he ran the risk of dislodging his bed's latest inhabitant. Vow had taken to sleeping on his pillow, cuddled up against the top of his head. He didn't understand the attraction, but he also didn't mind. It felt good to have someone so nearby, even if that someone was tiny and had fur instead of larger with a single, long braid. "Evening, Vow," he said softly, dragging himself out of his bed to go in search of some tea and a saucer of tuna for his nighttime friend. 

The saucer went on the kitchen table. He'd learned immediately that Vow would not be refused if she wanted to go somewhere, though he'd also figured out that a spray bottle of water was a handy thing to have nearby. Thankfully, she was an agreeable companion, not prone to hysterics or acts of vengeance. And something about her reminded him of Duo. It wasn't her eyes, for they were a clear, beautiful green color. Her fur wasn't the color of his hair. Wufei finally pinned it on her playful personality and lithe grace, then spent the next hour angry with himself for bothering to dwell on Duo. The man would return when he was ready, and all Wufei could do was wait and hope.

So he set up the chessboard, playing against himself as though he could bring Duo back so easily. The movements were mechanical. The discussion he had with Vow was not. And in the end, he realized that he'd finally accepted that Duo would remain gone for a long time.

* * * * *

Time, Wufei decided slowly, had a strange way of healing pains suffered. He'd kept up with Duo's travels through the sparse digital mails the cheerful man sent back to him. He'd answered the mail that came to him after Duo visited with Quatre and Trowa immediately. It was comfortable, friendly. The d-mail that came after Duo paid his respects to Heero and Relena was a trifle more distant, however, and Wufei had given it some thought before finally answering.

It was after Duo's confrontation with Hilde that he mentioned the thought of returning to seminary school in his d-mail. Wufei took his sweet time answering that one. He found it not only difficult to envision Duo as a priest but painful to think of Duo somewhere other than with him. He spent three midnight chess sessions agonizing over what he would finally say to Duo about it. But eventually, he sent his best wishes, knowing that Duo needed them more than he needed pleas to return. That d-mail marked a significant change in Wufei's demeanor. He returned to the cool, aristocratic man who'd flown a Gundam. Only Vow was proof against his rapier wit and aloof attitude, and only Vow received all of his love and attention. And the pain grew worse.

* * * * *

__

"Damn, 'Fei, you can really be a bastard when you want to, huh?" Duo's voice asked him from the doorway, and Wufei turned, raising one black-silk eyebrow. The mild glare did nothing to dissuade Duo from entering the room, the faint sounds of another gallery showing disappearing as he closed the door behind him. "What? You don't think I saw the way you treated that woman? All she was trying to do was praise your work and you cut her to shreds with your tongue. Guess she's lucky that you didn't have your sword here, or she really would be in ribbons."

"All she was trying to do, Duo, was get into my pants. I told you how I felt about sex with no love," he replied calmly, turning back to inspect the delicate waterlilies in the picture he'd been contemplating before Duo arrived. He heard the rustle of clothing as Duo approached, then felt an arm drape around his shoulders. Wufei stiffened, not wanting to pull away and desperate to get away from that dangerous touch.

"Yes," Duo said sadly, looking at the painting as well. "You did. I just think it'd be a good thing for you to find someone and settle down. That damned cat of yours isn't enough and we both know it." He turned Wufei to face him and the golden skin of Wufei's cheeks tinged pink with nervousness.

"I can't. Maybe when I can finally get past . . . everything, I can, but not now. I'm sorry, Duo." The words were contrite, apologetic, and Wufei felt precisely as he spoke. Duo smiled sadly, reaching up to stroke his cheek once. The quality of the gesture was tender, compassionate. It caught at Wufei's heartstrings, but he stood still, afraid to move.

"Wake up, Wufei. Quit beating yourself up. Enjoy life, and remember the good parts." And Duo vanished.


	8. Chapter Eight

Untitled

**Warnings**: AU, TWT, angst, shonen ai, some language, mentions of yaoi.

**Author's Notes**: My muses spent a LONG time vacationing with Shira's muses. Duo and Wufei finally decided to come back and they brought with them the inclination to write this little fic start to finish. Don't blame me!

**Main Pairing**: 2+5

**Dedication**: This fic is dedicated to Shira for sending my muses back to me and to Rhina for allowing me to care about her. The part of Vow is written in memory of Patches.

Dark Clouds and Silver   
A Gundam Wing Fic  
By: Yuuki Miyaka  
Chapter Eight

Wufei all but leapt out of bed, staring at the painting of Duo he'd completed while the man was still there, Duo's slender form stretched out on the living room couch. He'd been adding the final touches when Duo prodded him about his childhood. Duo had been looking at it when he mentioned that Wufei should do a self-portrait. It captured the lazy, sensualistic grace perfectly. Wufei stared at it and wanted to weep at what he'd lost, what he'd allowed himself to lose.

"I," he announced to Vow quietly, "am a fool. But I am about to be a very drunk fool." The dream had been too much. He'd never realized, he reflected as he searched for the bottle of brandy he liked to use sometimes for cooking, that nightmares about Duo could hurt worse than nightmares of the war. But they served to intensify the loneliness within him until it seemed like a black hole pulling him inward. Soon, there would be nothing left but the shell, and he would be grateful for the lack of anything. No innards meant no emotion. No emotion meant no loneliness. No loneliness meant no pain.

Wufei poured himself a VERY generous glass of the brandy, sat down at the chessboard, and decided that he was a miserable idiot. And then he took a gulp of the amber liquid, letting it wash all other thought away.

* * * * *

It took one hangover to convince Wufei that he NEVER wanted to get drunk again. He hadn't liked the feeling of not being in control, but even worse was the feeling that someone had pulled his head off of his shoulders and was playing speed-golf with it. And every single yowl of Vow's had only added to his misery. So he stared up at the picture, which seemed to smirk down at him as though keeping all of his secrets inside it's subject's soul, and swore that he would be miserable, but he would not be miserable and drunk again.

Amazingly, the oath lasted. Three and a half months passed like that, with Wufei confiding all of his miseries either to Vow or to the dream-image of Duo. It was during those confessions that he came to realize just how much Duo had helped him, just how much the friendship had meant. More than anything else, Duo had become a sounding board for everything. And as he realized that over the months, he realized something else as well. If Duo never came back, Wufei would be grateful for the time they'd spent together. He could think of no-one else whose companionship he'd valued so much, with the possible exception of Meiran. And he'd only noticed how he felt about her posthumously. 

When the period of understanding finally came to a close three and a half months after Wufei'd gotten drunk, he recalled Duo's words. "Let me go," the chestnut-haired man had pleaded, and Wufei finally understood that he'd never let Duo go. That was what brought him to the campsite they'd visited so very long ago, Vow tucked gently into her carry-case and a sheet of drawing paper with a sketch on it the only real things he'd brought other than food. He wouldn't stay longer than overnight, just long enough to complete the task he'd set for himself, the task that would show him that he COULD let go of Duo. Forever, if need be.

With one hand firmly clutching the golden cross that Duo had entrusted to him, collateral against his ultimate return, Wufei held the paper before his eyes. The sketch solidified into a picture of Duo, long tresses of hair brushing gently around his shoulders and arms, flowing and loose. The priest's outfit was on, that smirk of a grin that told so many secrets a comfortable smile on Duo's face. In one hand, he clutched the pocket-watch locket Wufei had given him. The other was outstretched toward the viewer, pleading with Wufei to join him. The sable-eyed man shivered once, then held the paper over the flame, allowing it to catch fire and burn. When the fire got too close to his own fingers, Wufei dropped the sheet into the conflagration and stared as it crumpled and turned to ash. It was time to let go, before he got any more hurt than he already was.

* * * * *

He returned the next day, Vow's case in one hand and the keys in another, all his camping gear waiting in the car for when he was ready to get them again. He froze as he looked up from choosing the right key for the top lock, the figure on his doorstep stopping him cold. The figure looked up, flashed a cheeky grin, then rose slowly. "You took your sweet time getting home. I've been here since sun-up."

Duo's words, so casual and amused, startled Wufei out of his reverie. The black-haired man stepped up to the door, hastily opening it and ushering his surprising but always welcome guest in. "I didn't realize you'd be arriving today or I would have come earlier. Have you graduated seminary?"

The question was merely a preliminary to simple conversation, Wufei told himself as he set Vow's carrier down and let her out. She sniffed daintily at Duo twice, then wound around his ankles briefly before heading to her litterbox and food bowl. Duo watched her go, then grinned. "Beautiful cat. I changed my mind halfway through."

The lightning-quick changes in conversation confused Wufei briefly before he put the two sentences into the proper order for him. He blinked, then stared at Duo. "Why did you change your mind, precisely?" The words were slow, cautious. He'd just let Duo go and he was about to be sucked back into the addiction that came with spending time with the free-soul known as Duo Maxwell.

Duo stepped forward, swallowing once. Nervousness seeped into the deep indigo-violet pools that were his eyes, radiated from every line in his body. He reached a trembling hand up, gently brushing Wufei's cheek. "Because of you, Wufei. I can't be happy in seminary. I can't be happy as a priest. I can only be happy here."

"Why?" Wufei asked shakily, hands rising of their own accord to rest on Duo's shoulders. They stared at each other from mere inches away, the air fraught with the tension of love unspoken. And then Wufei pulled back, slipping the cross he'd kept on a chain around his neck out from under his clothing. Duo smiled at the sight of it, tracing it's straight lines with a feathersoft fingertip. And then he was in Wufei's arms, hugging the man so tightly that Wufei could barely breathe.

If I die right now, Wufei thought giddily, I will be forever grateful for this moment. But he didn't die, and the hug eventually ended, and they stepped just far enough back to talk. "You're my grounding, Wufei," Duo explained, his eyes tracing Wufei's face slowly, as though memorizing everything he saw. "Without you, I'm not a free spirit. I'm a flighty airhead."

Wufei shook his head. "Not true. I've seen how you act. You're more intelligent than the rest of us put together."

Duo nodded, conceding the point slowly. "But . . . I don't feel grounded. I feel as if my soul is slowly disappearing into the air, as if the hot air that keeps me afloat is cooling and I have no way to secure myself for the fall that's coming. I'm scared of that fall, Wufei. If you keep me grounded, then I'll never fall. At least . . . I'll never fall out of love with you."

It took several seconds for what Duo had said to penetrate Wufei's brain. When it finally registered, his eyes widened and he stared at Duo incredulously. "You . . . love me?" he eventually asked, much to Duo's amusement. Duo nodded, and was pulled into a sweet and not entirely chaste kiss. "Ancestors, Duo, I've been praying you'd come back to me and say that. I've loved you since . . . since . . . I don't even KNOW how long I've loved you anymore."

Duo smiled. "I'd . . . I'd like to take things slowly. This is kinda new to both of us, and I'd like it to be comfortable before we proceed to the next step." Wufei agreed eagerly. For Duo . . . anything.

"Just promise me one thing, Duo." Wufei's request surprised Duo, but the American smiled agreement, certain he could willingly do anything Wufei asked.

"Always, ALWAYS, come back to me."

* * * * * 

Dark clouds once covered Wufei's entire world, so thick and so black that he couldn't see the silver tinging them, promising happiness. Those clouds kept their promise of happiness by granting it to him in the form of one day that would ultimately change his entire life. His wedding day. He married Duo in a black tuxedo with silver trim. Duo loved those colors for, as he said, "Every dark cloud has its silver. You just gotta wait to see it, is all."


End file.
